Felix Wanted a Baby
by hochmodel
Summary: Felix wanted a baby.


**I do not own the characters nor setting. Disney does.**

Felix wanted a baby. It was easy enough for Calhoun to see that. They had been married for a couple years, had a handle on the challenges that came along with it, and now he wanted a kid.

But he wasn't the only one. She wanted one very badly as well. But she gave up on that dream long ago, and if she hadn't forgotten about the possibility, she would have told him why it was impossible.

It wasn't fair to him; that he wanted a kid but couldn't have one. She wished she told him the truth before they were married- that he could give up any chances of children. But, like she said, with all the planning for the wedding on top of the stress of work, it slipped her mind.

It killed her to see him stare longingly at the _Sugar Rush _children, or to have him point out to her the other characters kids, or to constantly bring up how great it would be to be a dad. Could the little guy be any more obvious?!

She told him that they couldn't be responsible parents- that they both worked until late hours, the baby couldn't really socialize with anyone but Vanellope, and she, with her work, shouldn't really be carrying a kid in her womb. Besides, they had Vanellope to fill the child void. He quickly retaliated that he could pay a babysitter to watch the baby until their work hours were over, there were all of the racers that the baby could socialize with, not to mention Ralph and other characters with children, she had men who could take over her job during her pregnancy, and Vanellope spent most of her time with Ralph.

In truth, everything she told him was an excuse- she wanted a child just as badly as he did, if not more so. But she couldn't have one, just not for any of those reasons. It was a secret of hers that she had been too ashamed to tell anyone- which could have been, if she were honest with herself, partially why it did slip her mind to tell short-stack. Programmers were cruel people.

And unfortunately, adoption was not possible. True, the racers and other children in the games were technically parent-less, but because they were programmed that way, no adoption of the little kids was allowed.

Felix pleaded with her for months to think about it, and she gave the same-old excuses. She didn't want to tell him the real reason why. She was sure Felix would leave her, seeing as how he couldn't get kids out of her anytime soon. She never had to worry about it with Brad, because Brad had never wanted children, but Felix was a soft, sensitive little dude that loved babies and puppies and everything cute and cuddly.

Felix, on the other hand, couldn't understand what on earth she was so against! Why can't they have a kid? They've been..._you know_...enough. Something was bound to happen, if for no reason other than characterology.

"I just don't get it." He ranted one day to his best friends. "Why is she so against kids?"

"She's not." Vanellope told him. "Have you seen her with the racers? She'd be a great mom."

"There could be a different reason she's not telling you, Felix." Ralph stated.

"I don't think so. She tells me everything." Felix said as he paced around Ralph's living room.

"Maybe she doesn't think she'd be a good mom." Ralph replied.

"But she never brought that up. If that's what she was insecure about, she'd tell me." The frustrated handyman replied.

"Maybe she just doesn't want one? Kids are a lot of work, and she's always tired from her job." Vanellope said.

"Maybe. But again, she'd just tell me."

"Maybe she doesn't want to hurt your feelings?"

"And telling me that I'd make a bad father wouldn't hurt my feelings?" He stated, a little hurt.

The three stayed in pensive silence for a long time. "This is boooooorrring!" Vanellope eventually complained. "I'm going back to my own game." She got off of the red couch and walked out the front door.

"Love you, too Vel!" Ralph sarcastically shouted. "Hey, Felix?" Felix stopped pacing and looked at Ralph. "I didn't want to say this in front of Vanellope, but maybe she can't _physically _handle a child?"

"What do you mean?"

"Maybe, er..." Ralph trailed, feeling awkward about talking about his friend's sex life. "She can't conceive?"

Felix was still for a few moments, blinking rapidly and processing the proposition. "Huh. Never thought of that. But why wouldn't she tell me?"

"Maybe she's embarrassed?"

"...Come to think of it, that makes the most sense." He smiled. "Thanks Ralph." Felix left Ralph's house to find his beautiful wife.

WIRWIRWIR

"Tammy, we need to talk." Felix said seriously at dinner. She could have sworn her heart stopped for a minute, but she kept herself calm.

"Sure. What's wrong?"

"It's about the baby." She suppressed a groan. This, again?! How much more could he drive the knife into her, not knowing how much it hurt her not being able to give him what he wanted. "Tell me the truth, sweetheart. What is really keeping us from having a child?"

"Pint-size..." she began, knowing she couldn't hide it any longer. "I'm...sterile. I can't conceive." She breathed. She put her head in her hands, unable to face the disappointment she was sure was in his face.

He got up and hugged her. "I knew it."

"Wait, what?!"

"I talked to Ralph earlier, upset about what was happening between us. He pointed out that it could be a possibility. Tammy, why didn't you just tell me?"

She turned from him, blushing. "I was embarrassed. I can't do what every other woman can. I see every other woman in the arcade pregnant or conceiving, and I've wanted kids for a long time...but programmers are pretty cruel." She looked back at him. "Then there was the possibility that you would leave me since you wanted a baby so badly."

He tightened his grip on her, and buried his head in her chest. "Don't EVER think I would leave you, first of all. Second, so what?" He stopped hugging her to look at her. "So you can't conceive? That's nothing to be embarrassed about. There are plenty of women in the same situation. Besides," he smiled at her. "This could be a blessing in disguise. We're both tired after work, and the last thing we should be doing is expecting someone else to take care of our baby."

"Shame," she smiled back at him. "You would have been an amazing dad. Much better than mine ever was."

"And you would have been a dynamite mom." Felix whispered.

"Well, we always have Vanellope." Calhoun said.

"We'll have to steal her from Ralph." Felix laughed.

**I do think it would be cute for Felix an Calhoun to have a kid, and it's GREAT in the fanfiction, but it actually being canon- horrible idea, for a number of reasons.**

**Both are working parents- who would take care of it?**

**It would probably end up being a miscarriage, given Calhoun's game**

**It would probably strain their marriage**

**How would it get a game?**

**What if something bad happened to it?**

**Who would be it's friend?**

**They have Vanellope to fill that void**

**Etc...**

**So, overall, it's great in the fanfiction, but I'm not too sure I'd like it to be canon. I feel like, though, them being a married couple, would probably have sex enough times to conceive, despite protection and careful planning- condoms don't always work. So, the programmers had to step in. But, we'll see. Maybe the writers can work around all of these potential disasters. **

**Oh, and the reason I never use the word "sex" when talking about them is because it makes it funnier to dance around the subject. :) **


End file.
